Why Some Children on the Autism Spectrum are Perfectionists
More resources for parents of children and teens with Asperger's and High-Functioning Autism:
Preventing Meltdowns and Tantrums in Asperger's Children
Discipline for Defiant Asperger's Teens
Teaching Social Skills and Emotion Management
Launching Adult Children with Asperger's: How to Promote Self-Reliance
Parenting Children and Teens with High-Functioning Autism
AudioBook: Unraveling The Mystery Behind Asperger’s and High-Functioning Autism
Children with High-Functioning Autism may be experiencing perfectionism if:
~~ they "act" superior over their friends (i.e., over-compensation for feeling inferior)
~~ no matter what they achieve, the feelings of satisfaction are temporary
~~ they are extremely competitive about almost everything
~~ they become obsessed with rules or lists
~~ they become very controlling in their personal relationships
~~ they believe that only by making everything perfect on the outsid will they feel O.K. about themselves on the inside
~~ they believe that people are either smart or stupid, and failure proves you’re stupid
~~ they believe that when things go wrong or they don't achieve at a certain level, they have failed
~~ they believe things in their life are either good or bad - right or wrong
~~ they feel like they fall short with every task they undertake
~~ they feel secretly judgmental of other people who fall short of perfection
~~ they have a fear of disappointing themselves
~~ they have a strong desire to avoid disappointing their parents
~~ they know that they are "different" as compared to their peers
~~ they resist starting a task because they're afraid that they will be unable to complete it
~~ they struggle to relax and share their thoughts and feelings
~~ they have been rejected by their peer-group
~~ they have been teased or bullied by peers
Bottom line: Young people on the autism spectrum who are perfectionistic have difficulty viewing a "failure" as simply a step in the learning process. All high-achievers have made numerous mistakes on their path to eventual success.
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